Look out all you people down thair in Louisiana. DaddyO’s gonna kick some ass over ‘at Gulf Oil Spill. Jis as soon as he figgers out whose t’kick. Course, you all can relax for a spell. He’s been tryin’ t’figger out who t’aim at fer over a month, ain’t figgered it out yet. Maybe by August?
Hey, maybe Woody Allen is startin’ to git his wish. The one whur he wished Obama could be a dictator fer a few years, so he could git a lot done? Don’t dictators kick a lotta ass? An not necessarily those Woody Allen would approve of? Or maybe Woody is lookin’ fer a job. Now there’s a country we’d all love! Barack Obama as dictator-ass-kicker an Woody Allen as chief ass selector.
Lessee now. Who’d be first? Mia Farrow? After all, she did out him fer child abuse after he had an affair with her daughter. An at experience shore does qualify him as chief selector of asses for Obama. Now that has a kind of a ring to it, don’t it? Asses for Obama? Why, at could be a hoot of a movie title.
Cain’tcha jist see it now? Maybe Woody could git Civil War film expert Ken Burns in on it. After all, ye might need some troops. Not everbody who needs a good ass kickin’ is gonna jist drop by th’White House, fess up an take it like a man. Ey’s cowards an traitors ou’tair. Thair might be somebody with the nerve t’say they don’t deserve it. Might ebm say they changed er sumpm.
Then whut? Well if ‘ey objected mightily, ‘ey might ebm kick back. An at would mean war. Another Obama war. Might ebm be several a’them. An at’d mean troups. Cause nobody defies dictator DaddyO an gits by with it. When he wonts t’kick ass, some ass is gonna git kicked!
At brings up another question. Whut if Chief Selector Woody picks one a’DaddyO’s pals? Like maybe a community organizer. Everbody knows a dictator’d shore need a lotta them. Chicago could be drained. Woody’d be in trouble then. The selector might ebm become the selectee. And the kickee.
But back t’now. Ain’t it kinda like a dictator t’do like DaddyO did when he went down to the bayous an’ talked with folks t’figger out whose ass t’kick? I mean he didn’ say nothin about a court or a judge or a jury. Or ebm a investigator, private or public. Jist him. Obama. He wuz jist wanderin’ around, askin’ his own questions, doin’ his own detective work so HE could decide who gits the kickin’.
Ain’t we all lucky though? Lucky that he cain’t make up his mind quick enough t’ketch a snail, much less a fox. It’s already been over a month, an he still ain’t decided which ass t’kick. Think maybe he’s jist been too close t’too many of’em t’know one when’e sees one?
Like at ole boy Siggy, inventor of the slip, said, “…we men… find reality generally quite unsatisfactory” – Sigmund Freud, Psychoanalysis (1910)
