Try as we may, DuhNyews jist keeps on comin’. Looky here:
Tiger Woods Headed for Divorce Court? Y’coulda knocked me over with a tea leaf!
Who’da thunk it? Tiger Woods, the big Tigger, gittin’ throwed out by his wife, jist cause he hung out with whores? How bout gittin throwed out cause a’dumb?
Larry King NOT Getting Divorced.
Larry King not gittin divorced? Pass the tea leaves agin. Whut’s the world comin to? I mean Larry’s the divorce king. How could he disappoint his fans? Don’t fans go for the whole man? Ain’t divorce f’the divorce king parta that? Sob!
U.S. to Split Up Agency Policing the Oil Industry
Hands still bein’ rung over the Gulf oil spill. Not inny more. DaddyO’s got the problem solved. Jist divide up the gummint gang at’s spose t’be responsible fer oil spills. At’ll do it! Dang. Why didn’t I thank’a that. Another batch’a gummint fokes messin’ with thangs’ll git it fixed. Duh-h!
Revamped Microsoft Office Will Be Free on the Web
Ever time I see the word free, I gi’tiss funny feelin’ down in my gut. Sumpm like a big cat’s about to pounce the second I reach fer whutever’s spose t’be free. An’ shore enough, thay’s a catch t’this. A catch t’sumpm frum Microsoft? Shorely not. But with not many choices fer this ole rattle trap computer, I read on.
If I use this thang, they’s gonna put ads on whut I write. Well at might be the only way anybody ever will, but I read on. Ha. If y’don’t wont the ads, it costs $500. Still determined, I read on. It’s called a “chimera” by iss ole boy at’s writin about it. Now hold on. I gotta webster that’n. Hmm… says here at means…
a. An organism, organ, or part consisting of two or more tissues of different genetic composition, produced as a result of organ transplant, grafting, or genetic engineering.
b. Huh? (At’s me thankin)
c. I thank I like issun better: A fanciful mental illusion or fabrication.
See? Thangs jist kinda work out if y’let’em.
