Despite all we can do, DuhNooz goes on.
Once in a while, we get a break from the Washington Madness, and get caught up in something like March Madness. Last night was such a night. And two teams played magnificently right down to the last second.
INDIANAPOLIS — The ball is in the air. And because the ball is in the air, anything is possible. Miracle? Heartbreak? Pandemonium? Silence? Yes. Anything. That’s the beauty of a magical game like this, and also the pain. The basketball is in the air. If it misses, Duke wins one of the greatest championship games ever. And if it goes in and it looks like it is going in, Butler wins the greatest game that has ever been played. (1)
But Washington Madness is too fat to ignore for long. As in “A year-long effort by the Securities and Exchange Commission to overhaul its enforcement of laws against corporate crime has run into courtroom setbacks and internal skepticism, underlining how difficult it is for the agency to remake itself as a get-tough cop.”(WP)
And then, from the NYT, “The panel established by Congress to investigate the causes of the financial crisis has been hobbled by delays and internal disagreements and a lack of focus, according to interviews with a majority of its members and government officials briefed on its work.” (2)
Duh-h. And DaddyO wants the gummit to run MORE? He and the rest of the gang are going to outsmart Wall Street’s brightest by doing financial reform? Starting with the Senate Agriculture Committee outsmarting the Street gang who do derivatives? But first, Daddy, take 17-minutes and explain it all to us, like you explained health care in Charlotte the other day.
Now to a different madness: Starring a smaller ball and a Tiger.
A new game: Tiger Woods PGA Tour Online is being released Tuesday by Electronic Arts, in time for Woods’s return to the Masters.
“The first time I met Tiger Woods, in 2005, I was shocked to find myself talking to a real person.
Standing in a deserted Sheep Meadow in Central Park, he waved off his handful of P.R. people, and we spent about 15 minutes just talking about video games. Personable, gregarious and altogether down to earth, he lighted up as he told me how much he enjoyed the Socom special forces games because his father had been a soldier.” (3)
Can somebody assure us that we’ll get around to seeing the Masters as an actual golf game sometime this week? Duh-h
And the child-molesting priests just keep on being hidden deeper in Pop’s system. Again, strike the un from unbelievable. “A Catholic priest who has been criminally charged with sexually assaulting a 14-year-old girl in Minnesota six years ago is still working in his home diocese in India despite warnings to the Vatican from an American bishop that the priest continued to pose a risk to children, according to church documents made public on Monday.” (4)
But don’t get excited, Pop. These Indian kids aren’t smart enough to know whether the priest is molesting or just administering communion wine.
Look out Toyota. Daddy-O is about to smite you! It says here in the WP that federal regulators are seeking to fine Toyota $16.4 million for waiting four months or more before notifying safety officials about vehicles with a “sticky pedal” defect. Wow! A 16.4 mil chunk out of your billions. That’ll teach you to go around killing people.
And here’s DaddyO gettin’ tough again… A year after his groundbreaking pledge to move toward a “world without nuclear weapons,” President Obama on Tuesday will unveil a policy that constrains the weapons’ role but appears more cautious than what many supporters had hoped, with the president opting for a middle course in many key areas. (WP) But SURELY he’ll still be just as tough on Iran. We CAN count on that, can’t we?
Then we’re told President Obama will sit down Tuesday with about 20 black religious leaders, including representatives of the major African American denominations, in the second White House meeting in three months to discuss the needs of the black community. (WP)
Religious leaders? After all this flak on Bush and Faith-Based initiatives? Oh, you say Democrats and Black Churches just go together? And we can cmpaign there all we want to, but Republicans can’t campaign in White Churches? Duh-h. Understood. Perfectly. It’s always been that way. And we certainly aren’t going to CHANGE anything, are we?
And how do we know that? The same way we know this: The Washington Nationals will win 74 games this year. The Democrats will lose five Senate seats in November. The high today will be 86 degrees, but it will feel like 84. (By David A. Fahrenthold, The Washington Post) David! You sure your name isn’t really Fahrenheit?
And dat’s all, folks. All DuhNooz that’s not fit to print.
(1) via Plucky Duke earns greatness by outlasting Butler in magical bout – Joe Posnanski – SI.com.
(2) via A Congressional Panel, Hobbled in Its Financial Inquiry – NYTimes.com.
(4) via Priest Charged in U.S. Is Still Serving in India – NYTimes.com.
