Didjy hear bout the great illegal immigrant job swap deal? Here’s how it works. The Obama gang goes in to a employer, say a farm knowed t’hire fokes frum Ole Mexico, goes over ‘ey’re hirin’ books an’ makes’em fire all illegals. Then the illegals are free to jist go on t’work at the next farm, or chicken killin’ place er whatever. Ain’tat a neat way t’git new future voters? Jist gonna take a new immigration law somewhere down th’road t’make’em legal… an’ DaddyO is shore able t’cook one’a them up an git it passed in his Congress.
Now tha’tem Russian spies have been swapped out fer some American ones, ain’t somebody gonna say whut’s obvious here? That we got a bad deal on at swap? Hey, we give Russia 10, ‘ey give us 4? Who madedat deal? Shore ain’t no kinda deal fokes back home’d make. Duh–h
New question fer the next customer service person ye talk to: “Has your mama been arrested yet? Well y’probly’ll be talkin’ t’somebody who lives in India, an at’s whur ‘ey’re smart enough t’answer yore bank’s phone an’ tell’ye everthang y’wanna know about yore account, but dumb enough t’kill a member uv ‘ey’re famly at marries below they selves on the social ladder. It’s at ole caste system ‘ey still go by. Marry below yer caste, you disgrace the famly, yer mama kills ye. It’s all about honor. Jist recently happmed, accordin’ t’the New York Times. An at paper knows everthang, y’know.
Speakin’ uv the Times, have ‘ey got sumpm aginst gay people? Y’shore wooden thank so, their bein so liberal an all, but jist look a’tiss headline: “Basis of Ruling on Gay Unions Stirs Debate.” Now would somebody please tell me whut’s wrong with gays havin ‘ey’re own union? Fie on you, NYT! Yore liberal readers ain’t gonna tolerate yore aspersions on ‘ey’re kind.
An’ how ‘bou’tiss headline: “With Gloves Off, Obama Stumps for Reid.” First uv all, I ain’t never seen him with gloves on, an if he had’em on would he tak’em off in Las Vegas? Ain’t he heard about how everthang stays in Vegas? An wooden he be scared dat he’d git his hands dirty with all at filthy money ‘ey have thair? Oh, dumb on me! I fergit. He wuz air t’raise some’a that filthy lucre fer his friend Harry. An in politics it’s purfeckly OK t’putcher hands on filthy money. It’s whu’tay call a prerequisite (had t’look at’n up) t’bein’ a politician.
An at, fokes brings us oncet agin t’time fer Siggy. You will remember, of course, at back in the days when he invented his famous slip, he also come out wi’these right sageful words: “…we men… find reality generally quite unsatisfactory” – Sigmund Freud, Psychoanalysis (1910)
