“The largest egg recall in U.S. history comes at a point of great consolidation in the egg industry, when a shrinking number of companies produce most of the eggs found on grocery shelves and a defect in one operation can jeopardize a significant segment of the marketplace.”

They recalled how many bad eggs? Wuz at 500 million? At’s whu’tay say. OK, so ‘ey take’em back. Then whut do they do with’em? They jist gonna throw a half billion eggs in the trash? Seems t’me the problem has jist begun.

I mean jist one rotten egg can smell up a whole house. Hang on. But wait jist a minute. I got it. Take’em over t’Afghanistan an throw’em at the Taliban. At oughtta stop’em. How y’gonna fight if the guy next t’you has rotten egg all over’im?

Would’at be torture? Somebody ask Dick Cheney.

“A federal judge on Monday blocked the Obama administration from funding human embryonic stem cell research, ruling that the support violates a federal law barring the use of taxpayer money for experiments that destroy human embryos.”

Whut? Obama broke the law? Shorely at couldn’t be. Duhh!

“Obama’s return to Washington from 10 days in Martha’s Vineyard and a quick stop in New Orleans to commemorate the fifth anniversary of Hurricane Katrina will begin with an address to the nation marking the end of combat operations in Iraq. Days later, he will preside over the start of a new round of Middle East peace talks in Washington.”

Like my friend Junior says when thangs ain’t quite workin’ out fer his militia gang, “If y’cain’t do nuthin real, dazzle’em with footwork.”

An like at ole boy Siggy said when he invented the slip, “…we men… find reality generally quite unsatisfactory” – Sigmund Freud, Psychoanalysis (1910)

Another question at’s botherin me. Anybody ou’tair got any idea why we call iss a democracy, when one judge kin vote down millions uv people? Kin anybody figger out how we call it three equal branches uv gummint when one branch kin overrule the other two an ebm the fokes whut elected the other two, but we don’t git to elect the one at overrules everbody? Don’tat make a fedral judge sumpm like a emperor, or at least a king?

Yeh, I know one judge kin be overruled by five others, cause ‘ey happm t’be a majority uv the Supreme Court. But still at’s only five fokes. An back when ‘ey taught school children about stuff like at, ‘ey said the three  branches uv gummint wuz equal. Fur as I kin tell, at’s false teachin. Either that or gummint’s doin’ it all wrong. An ‘ey ain’t never spose t’be wrong are thay? Least nobody upair ever admits it.

Whut brangs it up is a judge in California jist overruled the majority of the people uv California an said ‘ey cain’t keep gay fokes frum gittin married. Now iss ain’t no attempt t’figger out whether Gays deserve g’git married. Bubba ain’tat smart.

Some fokes back home use ta say bein gay wuz a sin, an at the Bible says so, but since I ain’t never read the whole Bible I ain’t in much uv a position t’prophesy. So thair ain’t gone be no judgement here on the merits or demerits uv gay marriage. I’m jist askin whether it’s right fer one dude t’decide over millions whether sumpm’s right er wrong. An if so, how kin at be a majority rules situation? An ain’tat whut a democracy is?

Yeh, dummy. I know the forefathers set up the judge part. But since the big daddies whut set this all up also said the people have the right to abolish it, don’tay have the right t’abolish any part uv it?

Ole Andrew Jackson, at good ole boy frum Tennessee whut fought wars, became the hero uv New Orleans an took a turn as president, use’ta say the court makes a decision, let’um enforce it. Y’see, he believed in equal branches uv gummint. Not one branch at’s the boss uv’em all.

An ain’tat about whut Obama wuz sayin’ when he insulted the Supreme Court in front uv everbody over a decision he didn’ agree with? Did it right thair when he had’em all together fer his State Of The Union speech, an with the whole country watchin on TV!

I thank I’m gonna take iss up with my friend Junior. He’s got a lotta militia connections. An since the second amendment says a well-trained militia is necessary, an at they kin carry guns an all, maybe they got sumpm t’say about it.

I jist hope ‘ey don’t start pullin’em guns an startin on abolishin gummint right away, cause I ain’t had my vacation yet. An’ I shore don’t wanna git called back t’comment on no gummint takeover.

We all jist gotta remember whu’tat ole boy Thomas Paine said back air in 1792, when fathers wuz first bein promoted t’forefathers. “Government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil” –The Rights of Man (1792)

An my friend Junior could probly give ye some pointers on how t’run a successful militia. He’s got a paramilitary parafernalia store at sells to’em ever day, an he blongs t’one. So he knows whut makes’em shake.

I saw whur Atty Genral Eric Holder is speakin’ before the Metropolitan Black Bar Association. Whut? You mean t’tell me they’s a segregated club a’lawyers in New York City? An our own Atty Genral is speakin’ to’em? Hot dawg. Junior’ll probly have’im over t’speak t’his militia group about how t’make a segregated bunch’a good ole boys legal. Jis cause ‘ey’re all white don’t make no differnce does it?

An at Holder boy’d probly be glad t’speak some encouragin’ words, now that the big dawg court has made ‘eir guns specially legal. Holder does wanna uphold the law, don’t he? Shore. We all know that.

Oh, now at good ole boy Bill Clinton is offerin’ advice on how t’stop the gusher in the gulf. Amazin’ how at boy has sprouted out since the days uv his impeachment. Back home, everbody thought he’d go start a school t’teach the best ways t’lie an git by with it. But since the boy got t’be a millionaire, he’s got too big f’his britches. An since he’s got money, he’s welcome in all the respectable clubs. Fact I hear ‘ey all pay’im t’speak to ‘em. Over a hunderd grand is it?

Anyhow, his solution t’the gusher problem is t’blow it up. He’s also a scientist, y’know. He says send a bumb down’air an blow it up. Well, I guess at’d work. My daddy use blow up a lotta thangs with dynamite… back when y’could jist walk inta Midkiff’s Hardware Store in Mt. Airy an buy y’self a few sticks anytime y’wanted to. So we all use t’see whu’tat stuff’d do real quick. Problem wuz, y’never knowed whether it wuz gonna fill up a hole’er make it bigger.

Like at ole boy Siggy said when he invented the slip we all luv so much, “…we men… find reality generally quite unsatisfactory” – Sigmund Freud, Psychoanalysis (1910

Now is iss whu’tay call spin? Or is it jist throw some mud on it? Accordin’ to the WP, Some dude by the name of Drew Westen – he’s a psychologist and neuroscientist at Emory University in Atlanta. Atlanta?! Didn’ know ‘ey made boys like at in the South! Mus’ be frum somewhur else.

Anyhow, Drew says Democrats should not talk about “the environment,” “the unemployed” or “the uninsured.” Instead, they should replace those phrases with ones that have more appeal to voters, such as “the air we breathe and the water we drink,” “people who’ve lost their jobs” and “people who used to have insurance.”

See? It used t’be we admired fokes who “tell it like it is.” But people like at are gittin’ scarce as hen’s teeth. Now the trick is to tell a lie so it don’t seem like one. An in a way that ye can git out uv it when y’git caught. An’ ‘em people who’re spose t’be fightin’ fer us in Washinton have got that down to a fair thee well. At’s cause the only fightin’ goin’ on up thair is with each other an fer they selves. It’s ‘eir “careers” ey’re worried about. Not us Americans.

Obama’s gon’appoint a Independent panel to investigate the BP gusher – the Gulf oil spill. How many a’them gangs have we had? Now we’ll find out whut’s goin’ on? Like we found out f’sure whut happened in the Kennedy assasination? Shore closed at case, didn’ ‘ey. An the best part is, Daddy-O’ll have somebody else t’blame fer all the nonsense they come up with. Boy’s catchin’ on. Instead of his speeches takin’ the flack, some guys on a panel git in the middle. An git all the blame f’the way thang’s git explained. Clear as mud. Or oil slick in water.

Like at ole boy Siggy said, “…we men… find reality generally quite unsatisfactory” Sigmund FREUD – Psychoanalysis (1910)

“It” is attacking. In their own words, “fighting.” Mostly – to hear them tell it – for “us.” Sarah Palin is fighting liberals. Common Cause is calling on Sarah to “cease her violent rhetoric,” while calling on Americans to “fight” Citizens United.

Washington’s full of politicians who say they’re fighting for us. And the wannabe Washington pols – including Obama, when he was in the wannabe ranks – promise to “fight” for us when they get there.

Then we wonder why militia exist? Like the one in Michigan that just got busted by the Feds. If those who believe America’s being not nice to terrorists is what causes them to be bad, how about following that logic to “since our leaders in Washington are always fighting each other, we need to fight them?”

It’s all about having enemies. If you don’t have one, create one. That’s the way you choose up sides and attract people to your side, either to vote for you or give you money for your cause. Or both. Daddy-O and his gang have the common enemy of Big Business and Fat Cat Bankers. Not original. There are always con-men and women looking for people who can be duped into following somebody who’s fighting the big bullies. Never mind that government is by far the biggest bully on the block.

Ahh, but never fear, folks. government isn’t using guns in this fight. It’s only words. And we all remember the kid saying, “sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me.”

But hang on. Government words are ultimate power. Power to selectively tax the unfavored, and lavishly reward the favored with the money taken from the fat-cat enemy. And it’s power to pass all manner of laws to protect itself from the people it’s supposed to be by and for.

Give me the sticks and stones any day. I can protect myself from those. But words? Words of the mightiest bully on the biggest block? Words of unlimited pages and power to control lives? That’s hard to fight.

It may someday take a militia to do that. Remember. It did to get America started. And many considered that noble only in hindsight.