The Obama Gang, in court suin’ Arizona, says AZ law interferes with feds enforcin’ immigration law. Lessee now. The feds ain’t enforcin’ the law, an they’re suin’ cause Arizona wants t’enforce the law, an ‘ey say at’s interferin with whut? Scuse me if I’m confused. Jist how can ye interfere with how sumpm’s bein’ done if they ain’t nothin bein’ done? The judge is askin the same question, in more judgy words a’course. Duhhh!

Lack of votes may mean end of energy bill. Duhhh. At’s usually whut happms to sumpm’ when it don’t git votes, ain’t it? Could it be at nobody likes havin gas prices an heatin oil prices an ever other price raised on us? An at some a’them senators are gittin’ afraid they might be affected by a lack uv votes if ‘ey raise’em? Duhhh.

Obama Family Plans Weekend Vacation in Gulf Area. A whole weekend uv showin’ how supportive ‘ey are uv fokes whose lives have been taken away by at BP gulf gusher? Could at be ’cause Michelle spent a few minutes on Panama City Beach, then took off with the whole famly fer a real vacation in Bar Harbor Maine? An fokes noticed at? Well ain’t we all impressed! Duhhh.

Lindsey Lohan Gets Steady Stream of Visitors in Jail. Whut? Y’mean celebs git special treatment ebm in jail? Lil Lindsey can have visitors when the other inmates caint? I’d be shocked, but I see here whur prison officials say “Lindsay might get visitors after the official visiting hours are over for the other inmates for security reasons. It’s for the safety of everyone,” Oh, now at makes it perfeckly clear. Everbody’ll be safer if the star uv the prison show gits her way. Otherwise she might tear down the jail? Duhhh.

I do believe it’s time once agin fer Siggy. “…we men… find reality generally quite unsatisfactory” – Sigmund Freud, Psychoanalysis (1910)

Aw-w-w. Woudn’tchy know? The immigration law everbody but the fedral gummint likes is strainin’ relations between the governors of AZ an’ the Mexican state jist across the border. Now that Arizona might arrest some illegals the Mexicans are unhappy. Jist thank about it. Now they cain’t send illegals over t’litter, sell drugs an pass the buck back t’ole Mexico.

But have no fear, Ole Mexico. Daddy Obama’s gang is on the case. His boys have filed a lawsuit aginst them rogue people uv Arizona, sayin’ ‘ey’re new law might cause some confusion in the way immigration laws are enforced. Well! we shore wouldn’ wanna have no confusion, would we? Duh-h.

Aw-w-w. Little Lindsay Lohan’s gon hafta go t’jail. JAIL?! Can ‘ey do that? I mean she ebm cried a coupla tears. Ain’tat spose t’make at bad ole judge understand how much at might hurt a pore girl’s feelins? An’ any judge oughtta know celebs aint spose t’have ‘ey’re feelins hurt. Specially spoiled little girls. All li’l Lindsy did wuz fergit t’go t’some borin’ meetin’s the judge invited her to. Duh-h.

‘Ey say BP stock is goin’ up agin. Well at shore makes sense. The oil spill is gittin worse. Oil is bein’ found on the East Coast a’Florida an in Lake Ponchartrain an on the beaches uv Texas, but BP’s stock is gittin’ better. Everbody knows at thangs always hafta git worse before ‘ey git better, don’tay? I know we always say, “If it makes sense, at ain’t the way it works.” But does Wall Street know sumpm the rest uv us don’t? An’ ain’t they always right about everthang? Duh-h.

Attention all Tweets. Or is it Twits? (It’s hard t’remember whut t’call peeps ese days…or is it people?) Anyhow, here’s the deal fer you. Twitter is about t’give y’bargains galore with a new way uv sellin stuff to ye. Here’s the deal, an I quote frum at reliable sourse the New York Times: “The company announced @earlybird Exclusive Offers, which will be time-sensitive deals on products and events that will appear on the @earlybird Twitter account.” Duh-h

Now ain’tchy jist bustin with anticipation? Step right up, fokes.

We dig into our quoter system an’ find whut ole P.T. Barnum had t’say ’bout it a long time ago. Could’iss be it? “There’s a sucker born every minute?” Duh-h!