The news is often filled with awful acts of supposed men of God. Priests who rape little boys, a mega-church pastor with the title of bishop is accused of the same acts as the gay priests. A major evangelistic church organization leader who preaches against homosexuality, but is exposed as one who shacks up with one in a hotel room – on a regular basis. And unfortunately, some people get acts of man confused with acts of God.

With all that, it’s amazing to find that a recent study by the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life found that 69 percent of Americans believe with certainy that God exists, and another 17 percent are fairly certain. Only 6 percent don’t believe in God, 5 percent say they don’t know.

First of all, the most unamazing part of the whole thing is the 5 percent. There are probably more people than that who aren’t sure about anything.

But let’s work a bit with the 69%. If we believe a lot of what we read, we would have to suspect there’s a lot of uncertainty. That some might be less than completely truthful on the certainty part.

Witness the writings of one Bruce Feiler, who’s written several books on religion and writes a monthly piece for the New York Times. In his latest column, he confesses that he was stumped when his 5-year old asked him “Daddy, if I speak to God, will he listen?”

Feiler says his first thought was, “Who told her about God? I certainly didn’t.” Really? This is the kind of “expert” who is picked by the NYT to enlighten the rest of us on God? The kind who has, in his words, “spent a dozen years tracing biblical stories around the world and written four books about God?” A man who uses the term “Age of Doubt” to describe the times we’re living in now?

No wonder the Atheists seem to be winning the debate over the existence of God and the origin of life. Not only do they have the world of psientists (my word for pseudo-scientists) on their side, they have people wearing false crowns of religious expertise batting for them. Not to mention Christians who use as their only weapon some kind of natural longing inside, or a hole in the heart that can only be filled by God.

A better defense of an intelligence we call God being involved in all this would be some real science. Like that in scientist Stephen C. Meyer’s book Signature in the Cell. Meyer points to the complicated machinery in every cell, trillions and trillions of which make up our bodies, as convincing evidence that the chances of life arising by sheer, unguided accident, or somehow evolving out of some primordial soup without intelligent help, are so infinitesimal as to be classified as totally impossible.

Meanwhile, even the courts in America, charged with protecting our rights, have taken them away by declaring intelligent creation as religion, not science, therefore not to be taught in our public schools. The atheistic psientists have absolutely won that round. But winning a round in the debate doesn’t mean their pseudo-science is correct.

And thank God, some real scientists are surviving the ridicule thrown at them by the psientists who’ve put further research into the origin of life out of bounds. And we’re finally getting some real truth through the maze.

Another question at’s botherin me. Anybody ou’tair got any idea why we call iss a democracy, when one judge kin vote down millions uv people? Kin anybody figger out how we call it three equal branches uv gummint when one branch kin overrule the other two an ebm the fokes whut elected the other two, but we don’t git to elect the one at overrules everbody? Don’tat make a fedral judge sumpm like a emperor, or at least a king?

Yeh, I know one judge kin be overruled by five others, cause ‘ey happm t’be a majority uv the Supreme Court. But still at’s only five fokes. An back when ‘ey taught school children about stuff like at, ‘ey said the three  branches uv gummint wuz equal. Fur as I kin tell, at’s false teachin. Either that or gummint’s doin’ it all wrong. An ‘ey ain’t never spose t’be wrong are thay? Least nobody upair ever admits it.

Whut brangs it up is a judge in California jist overruled the majority of the people uv California an said ‘ey cain’t keep gay fokes frum gittin married. Now iss ain’t no attempt t’figger out whether Gays deserve g’git married. Bubba ain’tat smart.

Some fokes back home use ta say bein gay wuz a sin, an at the Bible says so, but since I ain’t never read the whole Bible I ain’t in much uv a position t’prophesy. So thair ain’t gone be no judgement here on the merits or demerits uv gay marriage. I’m jist askin whether it’s right fer one dude t’decide over millions whether sumpm’s right er wrong. An if so, how kin at be a majority rules situation? An ain’tat whut a democracy is?

Yeh, dummy. I know the forefathers set up the judge part. But since the big daddies whut set this all up also said the people have the right to abolish it, don’tay have the right t’abolish any part uv it?

Ole Andrew Jackson, at good ole boy frum Tennessee whut fought wars, became the hero uv New Orleans an took a turn as president, use’ta say the court makes a decision, let’um enforce it. Y’see, he believed in equal branches uv gummint. Not one branch at’s the boss uv’em all.

An ain’tat about whut Obama wuz sayin’ when he insulted the Supreme Court in front uv everbody over a decision he didn’ agree with? Did it right thair when he had’em all together fer his State Of The Union speech, an with the whole country watchin on TV!

I thank I’m gonna take iss up with my friend Junior. He’s got a lotta militia connections. An since the second amendment says a well-trained militia is necessary, an at they kin carry guns an all, maybe they got sumpm t’say about it.

I jist hope ‘ey don’t start pullin’em guns an startin on abolishin gummint right away, cause I ain’t had my vacation yet. An’ I shore don’t wanna git called back t’comment on no gummint takeover.

We all jist gotta remember whu’tat ole boy Thomas Paine said back air in 1792, when fathers wuz first bein promoted t’forefathers. “Government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil” –The Rights of Man (1792)

Course ‘ey been talkin’ at borin talkin’ f’two days now, t’which Senator Al Franken, who wuz sent thair by the Great State’a Minnesotta, responded by noddin off t’sleep. But then he’s a comedian. But ain’t they all? Like Lindsey Graham, frum at great State a’South Calina, whur thay jist nominated a unemployed dude nobody ever heard uv t’set in one’a them senate seats.

Well Graham asks Kegan whur she wuz on Christmas day, an she sez, after a big gut bustin laff, “Like all Jews I was probly at a Chinese restaurant,” which wuz probly th’only straight answer she’s give’em so fur. Course she did keep up her part by first playin’ like she didn understand an givin a answer to a differnt question at hadn’ ebm been asked.

So whut’s w’them senators anyhow? Playin’ like ‘ey’re frustrated at she ain’t givin’ no straight answers. Ever one uv’em’s a expert at the same thang, ain’t they? We’re talkin’ politics here. Th’perfession at invented th’crooked answer.

Course thay might be tied with talk show hosts f’that honor. Like Larry King’s hangin’ up his suspenders? Retirin? At’s whut he says. An he says he give it some thought,  brung it up t’CNN an CNN “graciously accepted” his idea t’retire. Hmm. Wunder why. Could it be ‘is ratins are in  the dumper? Nah. Everbody jist understands he wonts t’spend more time with’is wife now tha’tey called off their divorce.

D’ye thank his bosses at CNN wuz droppin’ a hint er two here an thair? Couldn’t be, cause Larry told Bill Maher at the whole thang wuz his idea frum the git-go. An’ everbody know’s God’ll gitchy if ye lie to a comedian.

Finely, I’m shore we’d all agree that It’s great t’have a stay at home dad. At’s whut a neighbor said abou’tem Russian spies ‘ey caught the other day in New Jersey, a great state f’straight talk if they ever wuz one. So lessee now. Y’got neighbors in a middle-class neighborhood, nobody ever goes t’work, y’don’t see’em usin’ food stamps at the grocery store, an’ the onliest thang about it is “it’s great t’have a stay at home dad?” Duh-h.

Like at ole boy Siggy said when he wuz workin on at slip we all love so much, “…we men… find reality generally quite unsatisfactory” – Sigmund Freud, Psychoanalysis (1910

There’s surveys at say religion is declinin’. But seems t’me it’s jist changin. At feller Jon Meacham, editor of Newsweek, writes about it all the time, has a honorary degree from the Berkeley Divinity School at Yale University. Time has a lotta articles on it, ditto the New York Times. So it’s purty well spread out in whu’tay call mainstream media.

They say that if they won’t no religion, people’d invent one. At’s been said for a long time. Some Atheists say at’s their worst problem when’ey’re tryin’ to convince the rest of us that there ain’t no God. Now I find that ebm though there are already plenty of religions, they’s people at invent more uv’m anyway.

Jist lookin’ around, I found this’un at purty well takes the cake: The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster or Pastafarianism. Now regardless of how silly that is, somebody spent a lotta time makin’at up. They got it on Wickidpedia an everthang!

Now this gang don’t mean no respect for religion by doin’iss. Fact ‘ey jist wanna make fun of it. But don’t they realize ‘eyre jist givin’ it more publicity? An’ publicity is everthang. Jist ask some’a them TV preachers. Whutcha thank ‘ey spend all them millions on TV fer? They’d tell ye, it’s t’save lost souls. But some people might thank it’s to dig up all at money at’d be lost t’them if ‘ey didn’t spend all at money on TV. It takes money t’make money. At’s whu’tay say.

But d’ye think they ever wonder if grubbin’ f’money on TV might be whut makes a lotta people say they don’t want nuthin to do with religion? Ebm though they seem to have a built-in need for some kind of god?

Hoo-w-e-e. All at deep thankin’s jist too much f’my little country brain. I gotta turn iss over to some philosophy dude. Like Ralph Waldo Emerson. He once said that “A man is a god in ruins.” Nature (1836). Now ain’tat jist about right?

Sometimes people wonder why anybody would wanna live on at Gulf Coast. You know, with this oil spill thang, right on top’a them bad hurricanes ‘n stuff. I mea’nem people’s alway’s goin’ through some kinda hell. So why don’t they jist leave, f’cryin out loud!

Bu’tchy can ask ‘em crazy people at live on fault lines in California the same thang. They KNOW they’s gonna be a extry big earth shaker someday. They jist don’t thank it’s gonna happen while ‘eyre still in ‘em parts. Like ‘ey might’uv left hell and gone to heaven? Nah. At ain’t it. They jist don’t thank about it ’til they feel a rumble. Then ‘ey thank about it for about a minute an’ life goes on, crazy as ever.

Y’know whut I thank it is? Besides people jist naturally bein’ crazy? It’s simple. Most people don’t thank it can happen t’them. Nuthin’ bad I mean. An’ ats probly a good thang. Thank about it (and maybe the real word IS thank), they’s bad thangs goin’ on all the time.

People’s killin’ people, diseases are killin’ people, earthquakes ‘n tsunamis, an, yeh, oil spills are happenin’. But people’ve jist gotta be built with a spirit t’survive an’ keep on goin’ …an mosta the time go on havin’ fun. Like in New Orleans. Tough time with at hurricane, but they’re right back at havin’ fun. At’s whut people do. If ‘ey didn’t they wouldn’t be no place in the world anybody could live.

I know. Some people ask where’s God when all ‘ese bad thangs happm. Well, my little mind cain’t figger out the mind of God, but I do wonder whut unintended consequences might happen if he did sumpm like Superman did in the movie. You ‘member? He flew around the earth so fast that it reversed its revolvin’ and everthang went back a day an’ brought somebody who’d got killed back t’life. I imagine if God did sumpm like at, the unintended consequenses could be fierce.

An’ like Einstein said… “Gott würfelt nicht (God does not play dice)” Relativity (1916)

Now c’mon. we cain’t leave it that serious can we? Try this’un:

Talkin’ about bad thangs, my uncle Clarence is a perfect example. He’s been known t’take a extry nip outta the jug now’n then. Didn’t thank he had a problem drivin’ while feelin’ s’good. Thought’e drove better as a matter of fac’. ‘Til one day a pole cat got in the way. Dang! Had t’roll at ol’ rattle trap off in the lake it smelled s’bad. But diddy stop ‘is extry nips? No way. He takes TWO BIG extry ones now. Wonts t’forgit the day he got skunked. Least ‘ats whut ‘e claims.

Bubba says, “Back home, ese people’d be put to sloppin’ hawgs fer a livin’, cause we know bad thangs can be done in God’s name jist as easy as in the Devil’s name. Don’t have nuthin to do with whut God wants. God don’t make no puppets. It’s whut man wants. An’at goes for the way men organize churches businesses’n everthang else. An’ what’s God doin? Don’t have to do anythang. Greed’n meanness kinda take care’a theyselves. Some people call it Karma, I jist say paybacks are automatic. You watch’n you see.”

But there’s something else we need to remember: hidden under the need of the modern news reporting mechanism to emphasize the sensational is the good done every minute of every day.

When there’s disaster, here come the little-known people who make  the real mission of churches work. FEMA may fail, as in the Gulf hurricane disasters, but the common people of the churches are always there. Not preaching, but providing the tangibles needed to ride out the awful feeling of helplessness.

And as Nicholas Kristoff put it in the NYT, “when you read about the scandals, remember that the Vatican is not the same as the Catholic Church. Ordinary lepers, prostitutes and slum-dwellers may never see a cardinal, but they daily encounter a truly noble Catholic Church in the form of priests, nuns and lay workers toiling to make a difference. via Op-Ed Columnist – A Church Mary Can Love – NYTimes.com.

Time for Phil Osophy to do his quote thing: Ralph Waldo EMERSON: “A man is a god in ruins.” Nature (1836)

But hold on. Hillary Clinton was going to go over there and solve the whole deal. So was Joe Biden. Obama was going to solve it with a speech, wasn’t he? But now he won’t even go there. Not to Israel at least. So why aren’t we amazed?

Could it be that it’s hard to be amazed because humans have been preoccupied with controlling that small, worthless piece of real-estate, not just for centuries but for millennia. And succeeded at nothing.

Everybody’s been doing it. The ancient Babylonians, Persians, Romans. In more recent times the British occupied it. They were certainly gonna civilize the place. God knows they civilized the rest of the colonies, including wild, wild America. Or was it that America civilized itself, then kicked the British out?

Now Americans are shooting their best shots. Have been for how long? Let’s see. Didn’t we start getting stuck in that quicksand shortly after the British surrendered in 1948?

But we sell this middle-east gang short when we only go back to recent times like the glory days of the ancient Persians (anybody remember that’s now Iran? hmmm).

The Hebrew Bible sets it up long before that with some choice words about a guy named Ishmael, whose begats are said to include todays Muslems: Genesis 16:12 “And he will be a wild man; his hand will be against every man, and every man’s hand against him”. And that’s only 16 chapters into the biblical account of the big bang, for crying out loud.

But the Koran puts it a different way: Koran 19:54 “Also mention in the Book Ishmael: He was true to what he promised, and he was a messenger a prophet.”

So if all this stuff in the Bible and the Koran means God/Allah set the problem up — and a substantial part of the world’s population believe what one or the other of the two books has to say — how can mere humans make it all go away?

But neither the Koran nor the Bible included anything about Daddy-O. Unless. (hmm) Wait now… Unless …we consider recent references to the Messiah. Can I get an Amen here?

NY Times … Nuns Aye, Priests Nay on health care bill. But was a vote held before the leaders of each gang announced their positions?

CNN… “Pat Robertson, the evangelical Christian who once suggested God was punishing Americans with Hurricane Katrina, says a “pact to the devil” brought on the devastating earthquake in Haiti.”

C.S. Lewis, noted 20th-Century atheist turned Christian apologist, noted for authoring The Chronicles of Narnia… “Of all bad men, religious bad men are the worst.”

Norman Daniels… Why does it seem that the very people who say they’re championing God often say and do things that accomplish just the opposite? Nobody gives the new atheist evangelists more fodder. It’s like Walmart running ads for Kmart. Or worse, Walmart running ads that say don’t shop at Walmart.

Of course, using the foibles of men as proof that God doesn’t exist is just as dumb. If you want to fight that uphill battle, pick some other reasons. The only proof bad men or super-religious phonies offer is that God doesn’t make robots of us all.

But we could certainly see God crying and wringing hands over what they say is his most prized creation. Often.

At least that’s what some Maylasian Muslims seem to believe, and burning churches is what they’re doing, writes Seth Mydans for the New York Times.

As he puts it, “Many Muslims (in Kuala Lumpur) are angry over a Dec. 31 court ruling that overturned a government ban on the use of the word Allah to denote the Christian God. Though that usage is common in many countries, where Arabic- and Malay-language Bibles describe Jesus as the “son of Allah,” many Muslims here insist that the word belongs exclusively to them and say that its use by other faiths could confuse Muslim worshipers.”

But wait, there’s more. It is reported that politicians may be fomenting the whole thing to fit their purposes. That “Some political analysts and politicians accuse Prime Minister Najib Razak of raising racial and religious issues as he tries to solidify his Malay base.”

Now isn’t that unusual! Like it’s never before happened that some humans are using the name of whichever deity works to steam up other humans for political purposes.

More fodder for Atheists. If God, or Allah, as the case may be, were as good as their adherents claim, he wouldn’t allow such stuff to happen. Such a great and good wizard wouldn’t allow politicians to steal his thunder by making false claims in his name. And he certainly wouldn’t allow different religious groups to vehemently argue that he’s on their side, and not anybody elses… to the point of killing each other.

Which means, of course, that we’d all be robots, guided by remote control from on high. But then there couldn’t be atheists, because they’d get zapped by the super remote. Same for different beliefs among those who believe there is a higher power/intelligence. They’d all have to believe exactly the same thing.

Which really wouldn’t be believing, would it?