U.S. Tries to Win Afghan Leader With Charm
Well ain’t that cute. The boy went off an played footsie w’China an acted like he didn’t like us any more. He’s got Obama’s number f’shore. Cain’t have no furriners actin’ like ‘ey don’t like us, now can we? At’d be too much like George W. Duh-h!

An’ how ’bout this’un: A Trillion for Europe, With Doubts Attached
Duh-h! Ain’tat kinda like kitin’ checks? Oh, scuse me. A lotta people new t’the real world don’t know whut that means. It’s like uncle Jedro used t’do. He’d have 2 differ’nt bank accounts no money t’speak of in neither one of’em. He’d write a big fat check on one, then before it got t’that bank, he’d deposit another fat check on the other bank t’cover it. Jist kept bouncin’ back’n forth like at. Didn’t take no real money, jist rubber. Worked real good ’til ‘e got a little tipsy one day’n forgot which bank needed a new rubber check. Had t’stretch out in jail fer a while.

Ain’tat whut’s goin’ on right now with all them furrin countries bailin’ out each other? Hey, we started it by bailin out banks an’ car cumpnies’n everthang, usin’ rubber checks t’do it, didn’ we? Jist keep at paper money bouncin’ around, an’ pretty soon, we’ll all wind up like uncle Jedrow. Drunk an’ in the hoosgow. Seems like we’re halfway there already. I know I’m feelin’ giddy. Ain’tchew?

Nomination of Kagan Leaves Some Longing on the Left

Duh’h! Seems t’me like at’s whut started it all. A longin’ on the left. I mean all iss news analasys is jist fer show. Them news boys gotta earn ‘eyr pay. Everbody knows she’s a ol’ Chicago buddy’a DaddyO’s. At leas’tat. Ain’t nobody said whut else ‘ey had goin’ on in the windy city. Bu’tat’s a good thang about DaddyO. He takes care’a his ole buddies frum Chicago. Didn’t git the big head when he got t’be the BIG Daddy. I like at. Sorta.

At’s about all we got time for frum the Times, but we need a little sumpm frum the Post Toastie in Washinton. Cain’t leave them out. Ey’re already havin’ t’sell out their wife. You ‘member her. Name’s Newsweek. Pore girl. ‘Ey been together since back in the 1930′s I hear. Less see whu’tay got. Oh here it is.

Aah, ain’tat cute. The Posties’ve jist started a love affair with Kagan too. Suprise suprise! (Yeh, I stole at sayin’ frum a friend’a my friend Andy. But he won’t care. He’s a good ole boy). Here’s at big headline…

Kagan would emphasize Supreme Court moving in new direction

Uh-h-h… Duh-h? So we’re gonna have more change? Now at’s whut we need f’shore!

Like at ole boy Siggy said, “…we men… find reality generally quite unsatisfactory” Sigmund FREUD – Psychoanalysis (1910)