Like I saw this ad on the Internet that said, “The big question: does moral action depend on reasoning? See what the experts say. Click here.” So I did. Here’s what the experts said:

“Not really.” “Yes and no, happily.” “No, it does not!” “It depends.” At wuz jist four uv’m. They wuz a lot more uv’em at went on about the same as them four.

Now ain’tat a real source a’comfort? I mean, here I am thinkin’ I’m dumb as a rock, lookin’ f’answers frum the experts an’ the experts don’t know nuthin’ neither. Ding Dong! At last! I know I’m not alone in the universe. I got smart cumpny!

Then ‘eyr’s another dude. Differnt perch on the Internet. At’s Caleb Sharf. Says he’s the Director of Astrobiology at Columbia University. Now he oughtta know sumpm, right?

Whut he says is we’re all jist smudge. Like we’re made outta black soot. Course he dresses up whut he says an’ makes it sound scientific an’ all, but it means the same thing. He says it like iss:

“When we look out into the universe we find that the chemistry of our life – carbon based molecular structures – is not just occasional, it’s ubiquitous. Carbon is a fabulous player; simple molecules, rings, chains, polymers, sheets, crystals, and great clumps of sooty particles abound.

See? Like I told ye. We’re all smudge. Smudge is jist a sooty particle at’s been worn down. An’ I don’t know bout you, but this speck a’soot is definitely worn down to a smudge with this whole mess. An it’s definitely time t’quit.

Next: if we’re all jist smudge, whut kinda s – - t. is the rest’a the universe made out uv?