A Republican in Harlem? Runnin aginst Charlie the Wrangler? Have we seen it all? Charlie Rangel, who everbody in Harlem trusts has a Republican runnin aginst him fer his House seat? C’mon! All he did wuz take a little graft like free corporate jet flights t’ the Carribbean. Can we roll up our towels an git off the beach now?

If we had any doubts about the New York Times bein’ a responsible news outfit, we can all relax an believe agin. ‘Ey might go anead an report sumpm the U.S. military wants’em t’hold up on, bu’tey shore wouldn’ double cross at web site Wikileaks at gives away military secrets. Here’s the way it went on a major revelation about the Afghan war, accordin t’the Times:

“The New York Times, the British newspaper The Guardian and the German magazine Der Spiegel were given access to the voluminous records several weeks ago on the condition that they not report on the material before Sunday.”

‘Til Sunday? Ain’tat the big day fer the Times? Ahhh, but don’tchy feel better now tha’tchy know yore Times kin really keep a secret? It jist depends on who asks. An a reliable gang like one at makes its livin’ by revealin’ military secrets during war time shore qualifies as trustworthy!

Congrats to the Boy Scouts on 100 years uv workin’ with youth. But wait. Should we be sayin’ such a thang? Did’n ‘ey mess up on gay rights when ‘ey said ‘ey didn’ want no gay guys bein’ scout masters? Imagine the nerve’a  anybody want’in to keep gay dudes away frum the chicken! An’ at ban probly ebm included the cream uv gay priests! Duhh!

The really important stuff:

Why is it taking so long to make a white iPhone? An how ’bout the new face jobs? How do you know somebody’s available to talk on FaceTime? Why, at’s simple. you git a FacePlant.

I’m waitin’ fer the LoseFace app. Maybe we’ll start some awards when at’n comes out.