Courtesy of the able writers of the New York Times and Washington Post, who are so apt at creatin’ tons uv Duh-style Nooz, here’s a small part uv today’s crop.
“The White House is preparing measures that would expand opportunities for Americans to travel to Cuba and send money there, congressional and Obama administration officials say.” Yeh, I know we had the travel part yesterday, but one uv our sources left out the send money part, an at’s important. As much money as we let illegals export to Mexico, we cain’t discriminate aginst Cuba by not sendin tons uv our money t’them too. Besides, it’s all borrowed from China, so whutta we care whut we do with it?
“A federal investigation of a controversial Arizona sheriff known for tough immigration enforcement has intensified in recent days, escalating the conflict between the Obama administration and officials in the border state.” Hey! If our injustice system ain’t gonna let the rest uv the people of Arizona git by with disobeyin DaddyO, why should we let a simple sheriff git by with anythang? Duhh!
An if our crack dudes at the injustice department cain’t git enough done in one place, thair’s plenty a’places t’screw up. Now we read that “A federal jury in Chicago convicted former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich of one count of lying to the FBI but deadlocked on 23 corruption counts Tuesday, a setback for prosecutors who spent years pursuing the voluble and theatrical Democrat.” At don’t matter. All them fedral lawyers git paid jist as much fer failin as anythang else ey do. If air is anythang else.
Now here’s one fer the schoolbooks: “The money for schools to rehire teachers, counselors and support workers is instead being set aside by school districts worried about cuts to come in the current school year.” Duhh. How could we possibly add anythang dumber to that jewel? ‘Cept maybe say a dubble Duhhh!
“Thousands of “drug tourists” sweep into Maastricht in the southeastern part of the Netherlands every day — as many as two million a year, city officials say. Their sole purpose is to visit the city’s 13 “coffee shops,” where they can buy varieties of marijuana with names like Big Bud, Amnesia and Gold Palm without fear of prosecution.” Seems the city fathers don’t like at. Don’t wont no outsiders comin’ in an usin up ey’re dope. At’s un-American. Or maybe double American? Y’see? Everbody everwhair tries t’copy us.
“A Yemeni man implicated in the Sept. 11 attacks was secretly detained in Morocco after Central Intelligence Agency operatives took him there in 2002, officials said Tuesday. The Associated Press reported that the recordings of Mr. bin al-Shibh, two videotapes and one audiotape, were found in 2007 under a desk at the C.I.A He said he was severely beaten by Moroccan interrogators.” Air goes at bad ole CIA agin, violatin the rights uv terrorists. When will ‘ey ever learn at the rights uv one terrorist are more important than the lives uv thousands uv Americans? Duhh.
Like at dude Carl Von Clausewitz said back air in the 1800′s, “War is the continuation of politics by other means” –On War (1830)
