Listen up, fokes. Here’s DuhNooz fer t’day.
Obama’s Drillin’ Recess
People whut work them oil rigs at Obama shut down with his time-out on offshore drillin’ upset? Why wouldat be? DaddyO says he’s gonna make BP pay all ‘eyre salaries. An we all know his word is his bond. Course he didn’ say how he’s gone do that. Would it be kick ‘eyer butts? Soon’s he figgers out whose t’kick?
But maybe he won’t hafta dirty up his shoe. Ey say it’s only gonna be about 3 million bucks a month. An BP’s been so obedient so far at they’ll jist fork it over soon’s ey’ hear he’d like’em t’do that. An he’s gone be talkin to’em next week, ain’t he?
Well, soon’s he does, maybe they’ll remind him at somebody’s got ta’pay fer the down time all em oil rigs outtair in the Gulf are gonna have. An ey’ll probly volunteer t’pay f’that too. Jist so the rigs don’ have to be moved t’some other country t’pay f’themselves.
Ah me, fokes. I hate t’spoil all ese dreams’a paid vacation time the oil workers are lookin’ forward to, but ain’t it about time fer a big duh? DUH-H!
Karzai Said To Doubt West Can Defeat Taliban
Whut? DaddyO’s good friend Karzai of Afghanistan doubtin’ him? Could at be cause we been fightin’ over thair f’more than eight years an ain’t done it yet? Shorely not. Don’t Kman realize who he’s dealin’ with? The great DaddyO jist ain’t had time t’preach the right speech yet. Jist wait’ll he does. Zaayup. At’ll git’em.
Could I git a big duh? A real big’un now. DUH-H
Help with Facebook, Please.
I been thankin bout puttin up my own Facebook page. But don’tchy havta putcher pitcher on it? I don’t wanna use a cliche, but whut the heck. People say I do at so well. I tried goin’ on TV once, an they wuz very nice about no. Said I had a perfick face f’radio, an I oughtta go thair. Or somewhair, long as it wuz else.
But since all ‘em people on Facebook at say they’re friends don’t ebm know each other, y’thank maybe I could git by with usin’ somebody else’s pitcher? Like maybe DaddyO’s? Or Lady Gaga’s? I know a girl who says she use’ta be Ga’s friend before she made it so big, an she says Ga has a copyright on it. Can y’do that? Well I guess. They do copyright cartoon characters, don’tay?
Now shorely thair ain’ nobody gonna Duh that. Woulday?
Like at ole boy Siggy said when he invented the slip, “…we men… find reality generally quite unsatisfactory” – Sigmund Freud, Psychoanalysis (1910)
