John McCain won the Repub primary in Arizona? An it only took 20-plus million bucks t’do it? How could such a thang happm? Shucks, everbody knows at. He stopped bein’ Mr. Nice Guy an promised t’fight. See? We jist keep on sayin’ it, but thair’s some fokes at don’t blieve it. Americans love a fight. This love stuff don’t make it!
But what fokes really like is a girl fight! An at Sara Palin knows how t’fight. She’s been havin’ a fight uppair in Alaska with Senator Lisa Murkowski fer a long time now, so she fought’er in yesterday’s primary. Got’er beat by a dude by the name uv Joe Miller. Yay, girl fight.
Then airs little Lindsey Lohan. Pore thang got put in jail an then went t’rehab, remember. Spose to be in each place fer 90 days. Didn’ ebm come close. Jist a few days in jail, now she’s outta rehab after 23 days. Fightin’s good, but bein’ a celeb is better. Kids, the message is you wanna be like Lindsey, right? At’s whut we’re teachin’ ye. Duhh.
Like at ole boy Siggy said when he first come up with the rehab concept, “…we men… find reality generally quite unsatisfactory” – Sigmund Freud, Psychoanalysis (1910)
