Hey, we lost ourselfs a good fighter. In a world at keeps on goin’ cause uv “the fight,” George Steinbrenner wuz shorely too big t’fail. Which means it’s like some people say: death ain’t no failure. It’s a new beginnin? The man could shore swing a punch, couldn’e? Some people’re bein nice an say’in how he had a soft side. You thank he left some PR dude enough bucks t’start a rumor like at? Nah. It’s the fightin’ spirit at made the news. Always does. Why? Cause people love a good fight. Fights are whut sells newspapers an gathers fokes t’watch cable news an stuff like at.
You thank we’d ebm be talkin’ bout a man who jist showed up an’ had a nice meetin’ with his team once in a while? Jist talked about how nice ‘ey’d all been? An’ does anybody thank the Yankees woulda beat s’many teams so many times if he’d a’done at? Shorely thair ain’t nobody at’s gonna admit thankin’ at the Yankees’d won more games if George had been a nicer guy.
Fighters win? How bout them congress people a’ours? ‘Ey’re spose to protect us by fightin’ off ‘em big bad financial dudes ‘ey blame fer the big money stumble we had. An did ‘ey do anythang t’the banks big enough t’fight? Shorely you wouldn thank at. Only one ‘ey shut down wuz the one at regulates the S&L bizness. At’s cause all the biggies ‘ey regulated wuzn’t too big t’fail an ‘ey did. Like Washinton Mutual an’ at gang’a mortgage benders at called ‘eyselves Countrywide. See? Only the one’s at’s still got the biggest fighters called lobbyiests win. Like Fannie Mae an Freddie Mac.
At fight picker Consumer reports says it cain’t recommend the new iPhone cause it drops calls. At’s new? Didn it always? Ain’t it always been the perfect excuse fer avoidin anoyin calls? Jist say y’got a iPhone an everbody knows y’didn’ hang up. Y’phone did it. Jobs says jist hold it differnt if y’really don’t like t’have y’calls dropped. Or go out an buy ye a wrapper. Y’know whuts’ wrong with it, so jist handle it an quit whimperin’ say’s y’tech daddy Steve Jobs.
An ye don’t wanna annoy Jobs. He’s got the keys t’yore life in his hands. Jist been named top tech CEO by Fortune Magazine. Ain’tay good. How’d ‘ey figger at out? But now that we know, it’s time t’quit this nonsense fer another day.
After all, it’s like at ole boy Siggy said when he invented the slip, “…we men… find reality generally quite unsatisfactory” – Sigmund Freud, Psychoanalysis (1910)
