I knowed all ‘ese high-tech people was messin’ with our minds, but now they’re messin’ with our military geniuses. At’s whu’tay say.
First thang, they’s all ese i thangs. Pods, pads, phones’n stuff. Aye got all ‘ese apps on’em. I was gonna git me one’a them apps t’fix m’breakfast. Bu’tay only got ones at make franch toast. At’s sissy stuff. At stuff’s made with store-bought aigs. I wont real vittals. Like a big ole slab a’country ham an goose aigs’n stuff. An I’m not spendin’ my hard-earned 99 cents ’til aye got one at’ll do it.
But hang on. At’s not my point. My point is apps ain’t the problem. Powerpoint is. At’s whut the genrals actually say. An’ I thought Powerpoint was old tech. But if it’s confusin’ our genrals, it’s gotta be high.
Here’s whu’tayer sayin’, an it says so in the NYT, so it must be true. ““PowerPoint makes us stupid,” Gen. James N. Mattis of the Marine Corps, the Joint Forces commander, said this month at a military conference in North Carolina. (He spoke without PowerPoint.) Brig. Gen. H. R. McMaster, who banned PowerPoint presentations when he led the successful effort to secure the northern Iraqi city of Tal Afar in 2005, followed up at the same conference by likening PowerPoint to an internal threat.
But thair’s hope, cause ‘ey say, “…the program does come in handy when the goal is not imparting information, as in briefings for reporters. The news media sessions often last 25 minutes, with 5 minutes left at the end for questions from anyone still awake. Those types of PowerPoint presentations, Dr. Hammes said, are known as “hypnotizing chickens.”
Now at’s purty smart!
One more thang. Member how we use’ta say when we didn’t unnerstan sumpm, “At’s Greek t’me?” At’d mean y’thank it’s so strange nobody could understand it. Actually I thank Latin is stranger, unless it’s Pig Latin. But Greek gits blamed fer strange. Anyhow it turns out that the Greeks ain’t so strange after all. ‘ey’re jis like everbody else. They’ve run up They’re gummint credit cards t’the point they caint pay’em off jis like our gummint has.
Only difference in tnem an us is they’re gittin‘ bailouts, but our gummint is givin‘ bailouts. An’ we ain’t got the money t’bail nobody out. We jis got credit card cumpnys dumb enough to let us keep our cards. Now we can all understand at cain’t we?
Whut is it Siggy says? Here it is: Sigmund FREUD: “…we men… find reality generally quite unsatisfactory” Psychoanalysis (1910)
