Cheer up, people of the Gulf Coast. Obama says the easiest part of all iss oil spill MESS is gonna be cleanin up the beaches. He says all ye hafta do is send some people out there, scoop it up an properly dispose of it an’ that your beaches will be in good shape in a year or two. There now. Don’tchy jist feel so much better?
Wait a minute. Did somebody down thair say IN A YEAR OR TWO!? WHUT ARE WE SPOSE T’DO FER A LIVIN’ BETWEEN NOW’N THEN? DUH–H, DaddyO. Whutchu talkin’ bout? Does yore talkin’ machine maybe need some maintenance?
But in case you fokes ain’t satisfied with at preachment, DaddyO’s gonna preach one’a his famous speechs at it tonight. An this one’s gonna be frum the Oval Office. Zow! FRUM THE OVAL OFFICE. At’s only fer serious stuff. So now, 50-some days after this greasy stuff started, DaddyO’s gittin serious. Look out oily waters. You’ve met yore match now.
Besides at, Congress is gonna crank up some BP people at their hearin’s. An at’s gone happm today! NO MORE DELAY, fokes.
An’ with all at goin’ on, the New York Times has the gall t’print stuff like they might be a lack of organization concernin anything about the gusher in the gulf problem. Ey’re sayin’ stuff like “From the beginning, the effort has been bedeviled by a lack of preparation, organization, urgency and clear lines of authority among federal, state and local officials, as well as BP.” Ye thank ‘ey came up with at profound pronouncement all by they selves?
Now really, NYT. Don’tchy remember Obama sayin’ he’s engaged an’ concerned an’ doin’ everthang he can? Ain’tat enough fer ye?
An’ you fokes down air on the Gulf. Cain’t you be satisfied with anything? DaddyO’s talkin, Congress is hearin, your beaches will be made whole in a year or two. At’s a pronouncement by DaddyO. Whut more could ye ask? D’you really spect some kinda organization out of the gummint? Duh––h.
Like at ole boy Thomas Paine said, “Government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil” The Rights of Man (1792)
