All at oil spewin up in the Gulf? They call at fossil fuel. Like it’s made outta dinosaurs. But, if at’s true, how’dem critters git under the Gulf a Mexico? Fall out of a boat? Like maybe Noah’s Ark passed through thair an dumped’em? An would atta been the first oil spill?
I could shore figger out why Noah woulda dumped’em overboard. ‘Em boogers musta weighed a ton. They woulda caused a BIG list. Bigger’n ebm Santa could check off once, much less twice. Probly upset Noah’s two goldfish he wuz’a savin’ cause the water in ‘eir bowl woulda been sloshin’ out.
Noah did hafta save the fish, didn he? I mean, otherwise ‘eyd a’had a free pass. An at wouldn’a been fair t’mammals. An at would be the first case a’racial profilin’. Coulda happened. I mean if President Obama an his White House Gang never waste a crisis, I thank we can be shore God don’t.
An, y’see, this very scientific theory would splain why the dinos went extinct. Poof. Noah took care a’that when he pushed’em off his boat. ‘Sides weighin’ too much – an ‘ey probly didn’ pay the overweight surcharge – everbody know’s ‘eyr all roudy an noisy. Y’can tell at frum ever movie ‘ey ever played in. So they ended up as oil!
An the rest is history? Shore is. Everbody knows history is all about wars. An some a’your best wars wuz started over oil. Country A don’t have enough of it, so they go fight with country B so country A can take Country B’s. oil.
Now don’t nobody go substitutin us for country A. America would never do such a thang. Shut yore mouth!
An don’t go questionin’ my science. It makes ever bit as much sense as at theory at claims all at oil we been burnin comes from ground up dinos. Shore woulda had t’be a lot of’em. An shorely they couldn’a been at greasy. Jist country boy thankin.
Like at ole boy Siggy said, “…we men… find reality generally quite unsatisfactory” Sigmund Freud – Psychoanalysis (1910)
