Man-n, has Congress got a new law fer you! Gonna save y’money, make y’money an’ affect ever part uv yore life! Dang! At’s big. Listen up, fokes, cause yore Washinton servants stayed up all night t’gi’tat handled by early yestiddy mornin. ‘Ey call it financial reform. Is at like reform school y’thank?
Well, lessee now. The NYTimes says, “…after weeks of intense lobbying and months of debate, Congress in the end stopped short of prohibiting some of the practices that led to the crisis two years ago, betting instead that a newly empowered regulatory regime can rein in the big financial players without shackling the markets and drying up the flow of credit to businesses.” (I specially like at lobbyin part, don’tchu?)
But hang on’air! It’s a bet? Wuzn it bad bets on crazy ways’a them gamblin with our money whut got us i’niss mess t’begin with? I thank I ‘member everbody in Washinton blamin Wall Street, an Wall Street blamin’ Washinton. At’s a good fight t’watch, bu’tchy mean ‘ey passed the biggest money law since the depression – at’s whut Obama the DaddyO called it – an it’s sposed t’fix everthang, but it don’t find out who dunnit an don’t fix nuthin? Jis places a bet that bureaucrats’ll gitit handled later?
Come on fokes. I did’n fall off no turnip truck yestiddy an’ I bet you did’n neither. Could I git a big duh? All together now, fokes. DUH––UHHH!
Course ‘ey say all the cost uv doin’ everthang at new law stirs up is gone be paid by the big fokes on Wall Sreet an other assorted banks an’ credit card outfits. Huh? Could at be why our credit card interest an late fees an over-draft fees are already goin’ up? Could at mean us reglar people’s the ones ats gonna pay fer it all? Nah! ‘Em big fokes fightin’ fer us in Washinton wouldn’ do such a thing to us little fokes, would’ey?
But wait. I found out that them big bank stocks shot up in price right smartly over this thang! Why would Wall Street celebrate like at if they’s the ones at got screwed? Could it be they’s the ones still in control? Could it be they know who’s gonna pay? An it ain’t them? It’s us? Agin?
Like at ole boy Thomas Paine said back air in 1792, when fathers wuz first bein promoted t’forefathers. “Government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil” –The Rights of Man (1792).
But whut’id he know? We’re a whole lot smarter now. Ain’t we?
