Lemme see if I got the straight scoop here. Bobby Jindal, the Louisiana Guv has been wantin’ t’build a barrier reef out off the coast of his state t’hold back at mess a’oil at’s comin’ in to the marshes whur the fish food lives. But the U.S. Corpse of Engineers won’t give’im a permit t’do that cause ‘ey say a artificial birm outair in the gulf might damage the environment.
Duh-h! Have ‘em people at the corpse been lookin’ at the same pitchers the rest of us have? People goin’ round in boats right up next to the marshes, reachin’ down an comin’ up with gooey black oil where water is spose t’be? If at ain’t ruinin’ the environment, jist whut does it take? Please, corpse. Give us a clue.
Course the corpse has got rules ‘ey gotta go by. An’ if ‘ey break any rules, they void all CYA protection. An’ at’s the biggest rule of all. Really. Ain’tat the most important thang fer all of us? I mean, without rules t’blame when air’s no other way t’maintain our CYA protection, we’d have nobody t’blame but ourselves. An I don’t know bout you, but I couldn live at way.
Now be honest. Could you really live at way? Y’don’t hafta raise y’hand, but how many of you have ever blamed sumpm or somebody else when y’know you’ve done a bad, an’ it’s really your fault?
Course not. Nobody has ever done at. We’re all heroes, willin’ t’step up t’the plate an’ take our medicine. Cause we all know, don’t we, that it’s the truth that counts. An the truth will always out. Etc, etc.
So we all got extry special truths to use when we mess up, don’t git a job done or goof off at work. Boss comes in, we got our computer on a ball game or some great XXX an’ we already got the truth covered a dozen ways. It’s worked a hunderd times, ain’t no reason it won’t now.
An’ now the Corpse of Engineers has to stand up f’the truth. An’ the truth is rules, cause the rules is the only truth thay got t’protect at reputation a’theirs. A reputation built on the levees they built around New Orleans. We all ‘member them don’t we? The ones that busted and flooded New Orleans during their previous biggest disaster, Hurricane Katrina?
Oh wait! Now I understand. Them corpse boys are afraid’at reef the Guv wonts t’build might work better’n their levees. An that would sure void their CYA warranty.
Listen up fokes. Got a new quote fer ye. Said by at famous philosopher, Anon Amos. You know him. He’s all over th’Internet. Here’s whut he says bout tryin’ t’figger out anythang the gummint does: “If it makes sense, that ain’t the way it works.”
