The Obama administration has adopted a tougher tone with China in recent weeks. Duhh! how many times have we heared at in recent years? Ain’tat kinda like gittin tough with y’banker? Y’talk about it, fluster about it, but since he might stop lendin, you stop before he stops.

The House ethics committee charged Rep. Charles B. Rangel with 13 separate violations of House rules Thursday, saying his various financial dealings broke the “public trust.” Broken? Duhh! Anybody remember when it wuz all in one piece?

New York is “the Big Apple” and Chicago “the Windy City,” but unless the earnest and obvious “Nation’s Capital” is your idea of a cool handle, Washington and its environs have never gotten very far in the civic nickname game. Now jist who made mud outta the name Washinton? Could it be the politicians who sling s’much uv it? Duhh!

Hundreds of opponents of Arizona’s new immigration law swarmed the streets of downtown Phoenix Thursday, confronting police in riot gear as the state’s governor filed an urgent appeal of a judge’s ruling that prevented key portions of the law from taking effect. Ain’tat the way it’s done? Have a demonstration? Carry some signs and git the TV cameras ou’tair? Less all git a cause up. Don’t matter whut it is. The marchin an gittin on TV is whut counts.

Republicans continue Senate filibuster of small-business bill. An right after tryin’ t’kill added unemployment benefits.  Duhh. First it wuz foot in mouth disease, now the Repubs have graduated to shoot in foot disease. Ain’tat whut ye call snatchin defeat out uv the claws uv victry jist in time t’lose the elections?

A record heat wave in Russia is felt in such ways as smoky peat fires around Moscow and dying trout at a fish farm. Whur are you, Al Gore? Ain’tat a sign uv yore Global Warmin’ thang? Are ye too busy with yore new life uv freedom frum Tipper?

An Finely: There may be no tar balls in Boise, but it figures large in the suits against BP as lawyers meet there to decide where the cases should be heard. Mannn. Lawyers salifatin’ over BP? Y’couldn git’tat many buzzards circlin a heard a’dead elephants. Duhh.

Like at ole boy Siggy said jist before he invented the slip, “…we men… find reality generally quite unsatisfactory” – Sigmund Freud, Psychoanalysis (1910)

Lessee now. Fedral law says aliens hafta carry proof of their legal status. But a fedral judge, at the request of the Obama administration, made it illegal fer state police to ask fer it.

Them badge boys at the state level kin ask fer a drivers license, car registration an a proof uv insurance card, but not a immigration card at the law requires.

Not confused enough yet? Try this: the Department of Homeland Security has set up a national operations center to “promptly” apprise local, state, and federal law-enforcement agencies of the legal status of aliens they encounter in the course of their work. But the judge says the locals cain’t do that cause ‘ey might overburden the system whut supplies the information.

She also said it would be unreasonable t’make people wait fer all the time it would take t’check out the immigration card.

Ain’tat kinda like some judge makin’ a rule at a cop at stops somebody fer speedin cain’t run the stopee’s driver’s license and car tag through the system t’see if thairs some monkey bidness goin on? Like stolen cars or tags or warrants out fer the stopee? At shore takes a while t’run.

Point whutever, fer the umpteenth time, the fedral gummint don’t enforce the law, bu’tey don’t wont nobody else to. So ain’t it time we made a law that the fedral gummint hasta enforce its laws?

I know attorney general Eric Holder sez he’s required to, but seems like he jist picks the ones he or DaddyO wonts to. So whut’s wrong with a law at makes‘im enforce’em all? An put enough law on the scene t’do it.

Only answer I can thank uv is Washinton wouldn’t have immigration t’fight over any more. An y’hafta fight if ye’re gonna keep yer seat up thair. Why? Cause ye gotta have enemies t’survive an fightin makes enemies. Enemies mean y’have somebody else t’blame fer yer mistakes. Plus fightin’ makes everbody look at the fight instead uv the real problem.

An’ immigration is about the juiciest fight anybody could ever find. It’s a fight at jist keeps on goin an goin an goin. It’s like the Energizer Bunny. ‘Cept it ain’t warm n’ fuzzy, which is whut we don’t wont when it comes t’fightin. Kin ye imagine gittin’ caught fightin’ with a pink bunny?

Like Tony the Tiger Hayward uv BP. If anybody could use some face-savin’ serum, at man could. Jist one thang. Somebody needs t’figger out whether the serum will work with antifreeze, cause we hear Tony is bein’ sent t’Siberia.

Then a’course airs BP itself. Spurtin all at oil in the Gulf has already cost’em 32 billion ‘ey say, an ‘ey’re jist gittin started.

Lindsey Lohan shore needs some uv it. Settin’ air in jail, after makin’ a big thang about paintin a message on her fanger nails fer the judge at wuz hearin’ her case. Course she is gittin’ a lot uv free publicity an she’s writin’ some songs she says are shore t’be Grammy winners, so maybe she only needs a half a teaspoon uf face-savin serum. Maybe she needs a lotta reality serum if we could find some?

The Pentagon, fer not bein’ able t’control its secrets. An maybe while smoothin’ over at lost face, ‘ey could git some ‘Get Smart” serum? ‘Member at ole comedy show with the bumblin secret agent? Seems like ‘ey might already have some’a that, cause while ‘ey’re launchin’ a investigation inta how somebody stole them secrets, ‘ey’re sayin’ air ain’t nuthin important in’em anyhow. Duhh.

Charlie Rangel. Course at night be a hopeless case, since he says now he wants t’negotiate his fate in the House, whut’s about t’put him on trial f’ethics violations. Did’n he jist say he looked forward to a trial so he could clear his name? Bring on the face-savin’ serum! Quick.

We’re gonna qui’tiss fore it gits totally recidulous, but everbody gits the idea. Problem is, air cain’t possibly be enough a’that serum t’go around. They’s jist too much face at needs savin.

Like at ole boy Siggy said when he invented the slip, “…we men… find reality generally quite unsatisfactory” – Sigmund Freud, Psychoanalysis (1910

But wait jist a minute here. Dig in a tad more an ye find at BP has been buyin America fer a long time now. ‘Ey do more drillin in the Gulf than any other oil cumpny? ‘Ey run the biggest oil field in Alaska, Prudhoe Bay, an own the biggest part uv the Trans Alaska pipeline?

Well, hang on jist another minute. BP is the biggest oil an gas producer in America? How’dat happm? Whur wuz Paul Revere yellin’ “The Brits are comin’?

Now we find a double sneaky. At Brit cumpny has hired a good ole boy frum Mississippi t’run thangs. Well, now maybe thangs’ll git straightend out. Good ole boys already have their life back. At’s standard equipment w’good ole boys. So maybe BP stands a chance after all?

But wait. Thair’s more. It ain’t jist BP. We got another problem. Far more serous. Paul McCartney, scuse me, SIR Paul McCartney played Nashville last night. McCartney? A member of the real British invasion at started with 60′s music? Now he’s messin with the home of ever good ole boy’s music?

Wuz it a packed house? Huh? Does a bear go in the woods? Talk about our good ole boy music bein’ took over by pop n rock n stuff like at! Whur’s Merle Haggard in times like ese?

It wudn’ enough at a rock band frum Nashville, called the Kings of Leon, won iss year’s Grammy fer the best rock record, an’ Cheryl Crow moved here frum California. Now it’s a British invasion all over agin. McCartney plays Nashville? I smell a conspiracy somewhair, don’tchu?

Less jist hope at ole boy David Hume was right when he said, “It is never possible to deduce judgements of value from matters of fact” —Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding (1751)

A Republican in Harlem? Runnin aginst Charlie the Wrangler? Have we seen it all? Charlie Rangel, who everbody in Harlem trusts has a Republican runnin aginst him fer his House seat? C’mon! All he did wuz take a little graft like free corporate jet flights t’ the Carribbean. Can we roll up our towels an git off the beach now?

If we had any doubts about the New York Times bein’ a responsible news outfit, we can all relax an believe agin. ‘Ey might go anead an report sumpm the U.S. military wants’em t’hold up on, bu’tey shore wouldn’ double cross at web site Wikileaks at gives away military secrets. Here’s the way it went on a major revelation about the Afghan war, accordin t’the Times:

“The New York Times, the British newspaper The Guardian and the German magazine Der Spiegel were given access to the voluminous records several weeks ago on the condition that they not report on the material before Sunday.”

‘Til Sunday? Ain’tat the big day fer the Times? Ahhh, but don’tchy feel better now tha’tchy know yore Times kin really keep a secret? It jist depends on who asks. An a reliable gang like one at makes its livin’ by revealin’ military secrets during war time shore qualifies as trustworthy!

Congrats to the Boy Scouts on 100 years uv workin’ with youth. But wait. Should we be sayin’ such a thang? Did’n ‘ey mess up on gay rights when ‘ey said ‘ey didn’ want no gay guys bein’ scout masters? Imagine the nerve’a  anybody want’in to keep gay dudes away frum the chicken! An’ at ban probly ebm included the cream uv gay priests! Duhh!

The really important stuff:

Why is it taking so long to make a white iPhone? An how ’bout the new face jobs? How do you know somebody’s available to talk on FaceTime? Why, at’s simple. you git a FacePlant.

I’m waitin’ fer the LoseFace app. Maybe we’ll start some awards when at’n comes out.

Where does our sense of right and wrong come from? Most people think it is a gift from God, who revealed His laws and elevates us with His love. A smaller number think that we figure the rules out for ourselves, using our capacity to reason and choosing a philosophical system to live by.

Moral naturalists, on the other hand, believe that we have moral sentiments that have emerged from a long history of relationships. To learn about morality, you don’t rely upon revelation or metaphysics; you observe people as they live.

more via Op-Ed Columnist – The Moral Naturalists – NYTimes.com.

The Obama Gang, in court suin’ Arizona, says AZ law interferes with feds enforcin’ immigration law. Lessee now. The feds ain’t enforcin’ the law, an they’re suin’ cause Arizona wants t’enforce the law, an ‘ey say at’s interferin with whut? Scuse me if I’m confused. Jist how can ye interfere with how sumpm’s bein’ done if they ain’t nothin bein’ done? The judge is askin the same question, in more judgy words a’course. Duhhh!

Lack of votes may mean end of energy bill. Duhhh. At’s usually whut happms to sumpm’ when it don’t git votes, ain’t it? Could it be at nobody likes havin gas prices an heatin oil prices an ever other price raised on us? An at some a’them senators are gittin’ afraid they might be affected by a lack uv votes if ‘ey raise’em? Duhhh.

Obama Family Plans Weekend Vacation in Gulf Area. A whole weekend uv showin’ how supportive ‘ey are uv fokes whose lives have been taken away by at BP gulf gusher? Could at be ’cause Michelle spent a few minutes on Panama City Beach, then took off with the whole famly fer a real vacation in Bar Harbor Maine? An fokes noticed at? Well ain’t we all impressed! Duhhh.

Lindsey Lohan Gets Steady Stream of Visitors in Jail. Whut? Y’mean celebs git special treatment ebm in jail? Lil Lindsey can have visitors when the other inmates caint? I’d be shocked, but I see here whur prison officials say “Lindsay might get visitors after the official visiting hours are over for the other inmates for security reasons. It’s for the safety of everyone,” Oh, now at makes it perfeckly clear. Everbody’ll be safer if the star uv the prison show gits her way. Otherwise she might tear down the jail? Duhhh.

I do believe it’s time once agin fer Siggy. “…we men… find reality generally quite unsatisfactory” – Sigmund Freud, Psychoanalysis (1910)

Headline: Fired USDA official receives apologies from White House, Vilsack (WP)
Ain’t it fun t’watch people eat crow? Specially them puffed up fokes in the gummint whut spends s’much time with CYA? An the puffed ups at talk about’em on whut passes fer news on TV? One day everbody jist falls in line an’ joins in with some blogger who’s railroadin’ at nice lady, Shirley Sherrod frum the agriculture department. Next day, crow gobblin’ time. Duhh.

Quote frum NYT: “The Library of Congress recently announced that it will be acquiring — and permanently storing — the entire archive of public Twitter posts since 2006.” Now ain’t we all jist s’proud uf our liberry uf congress? An don’t we all look forward t’our children an our children’s children bein’ able t’go t’the liberry an read all at Twitterin? An’ don’t we all jist enjoy hearin about our tax money bein’ spen so wisely? Could we git a double Duhh? DUHH-H-H!

Headline: Facebook Tops 500 Million Users
Now wait jist a minute. Didn some pollin’ outfit jist say Facebook wuz voted most hated? An wouldn’ at mean 500 million fokes love t’love whut thay hate? An’ could all ‘em fokes spendin’ s’much time doodlin’ on Facebook have sumpm’ t’do with s’many people bein’ outta work? Duhh.

Three of every four oil and gas lobbyists worked for federal government (WP) Whut!? Fokes at use’ta work for the gummint are now pullin down big salaries workin’ fer big oil, gittin’ gummint favors fer’em? Well, I never! Who would’a thunk it? Ye don’t spose thairs any former gummint fokes lobbyin’ fer big pharma or big ag (them big cumpnies at passes fer farmers) do ye? Does at mean the smartest people git outta gummint? An if so, whut kind uv gummint workers would be left t’dream up more paperwork fer us t’fill out? Duhh!

We jist hafta git back t’that ole boy Thomas Paine on this’un. ‘Member he said back air in 1792, when fathers wuz first bein promoted t’forefathers, “Government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil” –The Rights of Man (1792)

People hate Facebook. At crazy thang. 400 million people are signed up fer it, but hate it? At’s whut a survey says. Here’s all ‘ese fokes who put all ‘ey’re secrets on Facebook, trustin’ Facebook t’keep at least a secret or two, an the Internet giant blabs all. Duhh. Ain’t there sumpm wrong thair somewhair? Is it the fokes or Facebook or the survey people at’s gluttons fer punishment?

The Obama gang fires first an’ thinks later. At lady whut got caught sayin sumpm at seemed racist about helpin’ or not helpin’ a farmer because she’s black an he’s white? Turns out whut the lady, Shirley Sherrod, said wuz jist the opposite. Now the gimmint’s gon have a investigation? But she gits her job back? Anybody confused?

An the NAACP says ‘ey got snookered inta sayin’ some bad thangs about the lady too. An all iss got started by some blogger jist tryin’ t’stir up trubble. Well now. At clears it all up. How could sumpm on the Internet be wrong? Good gracious, fokes! Ain’t everthang y’read on the Internet spose t’be true? An don’t the gummint spose t’make important decisions based on at truth? Duhh. Anybody wanna count how many gluttons fer punishment we got here?

An how ’bout them Republicans? ‘Ey’re so smart. Pick a fight over gummint spendin’ and how do they do it? Why, hold up jobless benefits with a big filibuster. Now at shore makes’em popular. Talk about pickin’ the right battles! At oughtta jist shoo’em in when we have elections in November. Dubble Duhhhhh. Dubble gluttons fer punishment.

The Obama gang agin: DaddyO’s gonna tell Prime Minister David Cameron whut fer in at case uv the British lettin’ the Lockerby bomber go. Least at’s whut some a’the press said. Ebm said BP had sumpm t’do with it. So whut did the Pres & the Prime talk about? Why the real important stuff. Cold beer versus warm beer, whether their children kept their bedrooms cleaned up and the England-United States World Cup soccer match that ended in a tie. Shore sounded like a real whut fer t’me. Duhh. Is the press all gluttons fer it, er jist some of’em?

Cue Siggy. Like at ole boy Siggy said when he invented the slip, “…we men… find reality generally quite unsatisfactory” – Sigmund Freud, Psychoanalysis (1910)

Like all the people Obama has put outta work by not lettin’ anybody drill off shore while somebody checks safety of the rigs. But who’s checkin’ an’ whut’re thay checkin? Probly jist a blame gang somewhur doin’ sumpm t’give some political CYA fer any other blow-outs at might happm. Jist tell all ‘em people outta work t’take the long view. Everbody’ll feel better.

So at’s whu’tayre tellin’em. Airs iss dude at talks more than Obama takin’ care uv the BP money. Goes aroun’ braggin bout how he’s the law in the Gulf. He’s Czar Feinberg. A rich lawyer frum Boston. He sets air while people come in an beg fer their money t’stay alive while everthang ‘ey’ own an ever hope fer gits carried away by the oil muck.

When nobody gits enough t’solve ‘ey’re problems – an ‘ey never will – thair ain’t nobody t’blame. BP says it’s Feinberg’s problem. Obama says it’s Feinberg’s problem. An’ since nobody can fire Feinberg, it don’t matter whut anybody says about’im. Least uv all the fokes whut’s gittin a grease job done on ‘ey’re lives. But they’re spose t’take the long view. In a few years everthang’ll git back t’normal. DaddyO says at, so it must be true.

Then the Obama gang figgers suin’ Arizona an lettin illegals jist romp across the border, messin’ up the lives of American fokes who live air might cost some votes in November, but at’s OK. Cause it’s good in the long view. We’ll git more illegals, we’ll make’em citizens somewhair down the road an ‘ey’ll vote fer us. Maybe ebm before ‘ey git t’be citizens. At’s the long view.

And we guess at mus’ be the the whole idea of the whole gang in Congress. Don’t do nuthin. It’s all gonna work out in the long view. But ye say, ey’ve passed health care an finance reform. Passed whut? Thousands uv pages uv laws at nobody knows whut’s in, but splains at gummint agencies’ll git it all handled with regulations in the long view.

An’ we all know how regulations work, don’t we. Like, as in the IRS an all its regulations. Warehouses full uv’em. So full nobody knows whut all ‘ey say. Enough uv’em to grow a whole industry a’fokes sellin’ advice about’em, writin’ about’em, an worry’in over’em. Course ‘ey git by jist reglar fokes by givin’ out refunds like it wuz ‘ey’re own money. An’ the H&R Block bunch lives off uv “come on in, we’ll gitchy the best refund.” Nobody minds at it’s yer own money “ey’re gittin back fer ye, an the gummints kept it all iss time and ain’t paid ye no interest fer it. An’ ye had t’hire somebody t’ git it back fer ye, cause the regulations are so thick nobody can figger’em out.

But jist take the long view. Don’t worry, be happy. Look on the sunny side. Thair’s a brighter day tomorrow. Thair’s a million a’ them sayins t’make takin’ the long view the right view. An git outta doin’ anythang now.

It’s like at ole philospher David Hume said back air before we ebm knowed about oil, much less made our best oil discovery, which wuz it’s a great excuse fer startin a war, “It is never possible to deduce judgements of value from matters of fact” —Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding (1751)